I won't force you to read this whole blog entry to get to the link that lets you order our new gravity-separated cream share. Here's the link. Or you can just email or text me the message "Theo. I want to buy ten cream shares". Or one or two...you get the picture.
If you're interested in more details, here they are...A few years ago, we were given an old centrifugal cream separator, probably from the 1930's or 1940's, going by carbon dating and the look of the electric motor setup that drives it. We spent some hours getting it cleaned up and working. Then we fired it up and ran some of our extra milk through it. It worked OK, and produced thick cream for us. It also gave me some insight into what milk processing actually means.
The centrifugal separator was developed and patented in 1887. So ours was still "old fashioned." The problem I have with the whole concept is the unnatural forces that the milk and cream experience in a centrifugal separator. Anything living that was subject to the amount of centrifugal force developed in that machine would not survive. Like pasteurization, where the heat applied is outside the range where life as we know it can exist, it is not only a separator, but a sterilizer. In the machine, milk is whirled at such forces that the living essence has to be completely torn apart. That's my unbiased scientific analysis, so I rejected that cream separator as anything more than a handsome ornament and conversation piece.
Cool cats know the truth...
In my view, milk is a living substance, a divine gift to nourish our mammalian bodies (which are also very much alive). Our farm has worked hard to create a process called "Single-Moo Milk ™" to get milk to our farm share owners that is as close as possible to the milk that these cool cats are getting.
If you look closely at this picture, you can see there is nothing but air and gravity between the cow and the cat. There's no high-speed spinning equipment or UHT processing involved. Look again if you thought you saw something like that. It's simply not there.
Our cream share had to hold to the same principles. So when our R&D department came together to develop our new cream share offering, I had the team study the picture above. "It's OK to use a cream separator," I said, "and it doesn't have to be Single-Moo. But the forces applied to the milk can be no different than the forces applied to the milk those cats are getting."
As you know from my previous posts, our R&D department is staffed by a bunch of chickens. So this restriction delayed our cream share offering for several years. "How," they pondered in their little chicken brains "can we produce mass quantities of cream that will be demanded by our farm share owners without the use of DeLaval's invention?" But after years of searching the internet, they finally found a way.
Enter the Amish Cream Separator...
It turns out that way before DeLaval, some Amish dairy innovator was looking at a grain silo and imagining what would happen if the whole silo was filled with milk. It also turns out that when milk sits in a container for a while, the force that physicists call "gravity" pulls the skim milk to the bottom and pushes the cream to the top. So the machine shown above uses "gravity" (a type of "free energy" that would make Nicola Tesla proud) to slowly and naturally separate the cream from the skim milk.
The machine takes about 10 gallons at a time. Notice the valve on the bottom, yes the bottom, of the machine. After a few hours of operation, when you open that valve, the initial fluid that is dispensed is only skim milk (we use this milk to feed animals that make chicken, pork, and eggs). As jar after jar is dispensed, the cream content increases until the final two or three jars are all cream. There is even a window that is supposed to show you a cream line, but it doesn't really work.
From the farm's R&D budget, we bought the machine shown above. Sure enough, we now have all the machinery required to offer a "Gravity-Separated Cream Share."
Those of you who receive Single-Moo Milk probably will agree that the average cream on a jar of our milk is about a pint. That's the average. Sometime it's a half pint and sometimes it's a quart. So, I probably shouldn't tell you this, but if you look closely at the new cream share, it looks a lot like a "herd share". In fact, it is a herd share, where you hire us to milk your share of the herd, to put your milk in the machine above, to extract the skim milk for use with chickens and pigs, and to deliver only the cream to you. Well now I've done it. The whole secret is out.
The difference between a standard herd share and a gravity separated cream share is, well, actually they're the same thing. Same cost and everything. Except with the cream share, you only get your cream delivered. I guess that saves you time and, because we have that fancy machine, and free gravity doing the work, it saves us time too, maybe. So it's a win-win, which makes our head of R&D proud.
So that's the full story, some of it true, about our new cream share offering. Our new machine only processes 10 gallons of milk at a time, so the number of shares are surely limited. Order your Gravity-Separated Cream Shares now!